Substitution-Happy Mug Brownie

I'm a susbstitute-happy cook. There are few recipes I follow to the letter, and I would much rather make do than go to the store for an ingredient I don't have. Also with a dairy-allergic husbeast, it's kind of a must, or I would never find any recipes I like. So this recipe is more of a guideline than anything.


Mug Brownie
1 1/2 tbsp flour
1 tbsp cocoa, or baker's chocolate, or even chocolate chips in a pinch (just use less sugar)
2 tbsp sugar, or 1tbsp honey, corn syrup, a pack of splenda, whatevs
1 tbsp mayo, or miracle whip, or veganaise, or 1 egg white
1 1/2 tbsp milk, almond/soy/coconut milk, cold coffee for a mocha brownie, or even just straight water.
pinch of salt (optional)
1/4 tsp vanilla (optional but yum, I might even try hazelnut or peppermint extract at some point)
Chocolate chips, nuts, peanut butter, candies, anything you think would be good.

Mix it all up in a mug and microwave for 2-3 minutes. Unless you use egg white, none of these ingredients are a health risk if you under-cook them, so go ahead and make it as fudgy as you like.

Bonus - 130 calories if you use light mayo, skim milk, and no extras. Less than that if you use splenda.  But that's no fun ;)

The Perfect Glaze, and Cinnamon-less Cinnamon Rolls

So I got a huge craving for biscuit cinnamon rolls today. (yes I said BISCUIT CINNAMON ROLLS, ya yeast-bread purists. SUE ME. :P) So I made THIS recipe and it was perfect, except for the part where I forgot to add the cinnamon and didn't even clue in until halfway through eating the second roll.
I added raisins because raisins rule. I also didn't make their glaze because it was stupid and had dairy in it, so I couldn't feed it to my husband. (Before you ask I substituted the milk in the biscuits, but it's harder to do that in a glaze)

I made my own glaze and it's the easiest thing in the world.

You need:

1 cup-ish of icing sugar. I'm not a fan of measuring too closely.
1/2 tsp of vanilla
and 1-5 tsp of water.

This makes about 1/2 cup of glaze. Don't ask me how that works.

Start with 1 tsp of water, and mix it together. Add more water, 1 tsp at a time until your glaze is the consistency of  man butter thin yogurt. Drizzle off a spoon over your warm goods. It should partially set within a few seconds and set all the way by the time your rolls are cool. If not, try adding less water next time, or more sugar.

Crochet Anatomical Heart (pattern with photos)

Gather supplies. You will need: yarn, in red, blue and purple, crochet hook (I used a 3.75 mm hook), stuffing, scissors, and a yarn needle.

1. ch 2. sc 8 in 2nd ch from hook. sl st to close. ch 1

2. sc 2 in  each sc around.

3. *1 sc, 1 inc* repeat around

4. *2 sc, 1 inc* rep around

5. *6 sc, 1 inc* rep around

6. *6 sc, 1 inc* rep around

7-11. sc around

12. *5 sc, dec 1* rep around

13. sc around

14. *sc 3, dec* rep around

15 sc around

STUFF!

16. *1 sc, dec*

17-? decrease around. I usually give up on finishing each round at this point and continue in a spiral to the end. Finish off.

 Turn that bad boy around so the round-y side is up.

 Near the pointy side, backstitch a small circle in blue. This will be your inferior vena cava.

 Single crochet under your back stitch, all the way around. 

Repeat until you have a nice sized artery. 

 Weave through the top tail, but leave the lower tail to back stitch a nice vein with. If you didn't leave enough of a tail, just use another bit of yarn.

 Using your base colour, (or not lol) repeat the last few steps to make the aorta and another artery.

 Repeat again with red to make the pulmonary artery.  When weaving in your top bit, tack the pulmonary artery to the aorta so it doesn't stick out so much. 

 I back stitched the tail on the other side of the heart, just to mix it up a bit.

Et voilà! La cœur , c'est fini. (lol wut a doouche i bet she doesn't even know french lolol)

Feel free to use a thicker yarn/hook for a full sized heart, or a tiny one and embroidery floss for a teeny tiny pendant. OMG how cute would that be?

Also, send me pics for my ego is a needy bitch.

I have been watching the HELL out of this video.

Nick Pitera does Phantom. SQUEE.

A List of Stuff I Didn't Actually Google First

How to fight cabin fever

1. Get outside – Even in the dead of a northern Canadian winter, there are ways of getting out of the house. Go shopping, go to a friend’s house, or go out for dinner.
   
2. Get some exercise – Some people like snowboarding or hockey or going to the gym or whatever. I loathe sports personally, but even a brisk walk around the block can make all the difference in the world for me.
   
3. Get a better diet – quit eating like a fatty, and you’ll feel like less of a fatty. That’s real science, that.
   
4. Get a pet – Or a cactus, if you’re bad at remembering to feed things.
   
5. Get off – With a friend or by yourself! No seriously, when was the last time you got off? Pour a steamy hot bath and grab some dirty literature of choice, and go to town on yourself. The five minute pick me up pharmaceutical companies have been trying (and failing) to emulate for decades. ;)
   
6. Get some sleep – Assuming you are not like me; when I get all cabin-fevery I tend to sleep a LOT. Some people need more sleep, some less.
   
7. Get a hobby – In January, we went to Ikea, and there was fabric on sale for dirt cheap and so we bought a whole bolt (that’s 25 metres, people!!) of colourful stripedy fabric and now I’m on a wild quest to cover all of our furniture in mad stripes. True story.
   
8. Get organized – Clean a junk closet or something, and get rid of stuff. It feels good to have even one small part of your life under control, I promise.
   
9. Get some light – Natural sunlight is a wonderful thing. I like to bask in the window like a lizard, or see above comments about walking. Failing that, get a sunlight bulb.
   
10. Get hydrated – Blah blah blah, drink more water. You know the drill.
    
11. Get a clue – Educate yourself about depression, above all know thyself. Call a doctor if things get bad! It is NOT worth a major depressive episode or worse, if you feel you can’t shake this.